The beginning-email 9/8/10

Familia- not gonna lie. that was the longest week of my life. i only have 24 minutes, so im going to try and cram as much of my thoughts and feelings of the week into here. and then try to write you all back personally. also, i cant space, so sorry this is going to be horribly written. guys, that was a ROUGH week. no lie. i had NO idea it was going to be that difficult. but its okay, cause im better for it. and i think im over the worst part, as apparent by a few things that happened over the weekend, that i will try and hurry and write. and you guys will probably get a letter in a few days. ignore it. its from your whining crybaby of a son, not your strong-willed tough s.o.b. of a son. but i do need to first let me just make SURE you guys know HOW much i love you. it takes realizing you will be away from someone you love so much for so long to realize how much they mean to you, who knew i liked you guys so much? i didn~t, so theres no way you could have. ] i got on that plane and didnt really know what to feel. not sure if you know but we couldnt land in dalls because it was such bad weather, so we landed in san antonio. and i sat on that hot stupid plane for 3 hours. i thought i was going to miss my flight and spend the night in dallas. it was awful. but we eventually took off and i rushed and barely made my flight. (by the way the int plane was the biggest and nicest plane ive ever seen) i was still too busy and rushed to feel anything, so i ate and fell asleep, and when i woke up, and saw HOW far away from home i was on my little digital map, i felt the most longing sense of misery and fear i~ve ever felt. but i took out my fathers blessing, which i read just about every night dad, and read it. and immediately felt one of the most calming feelings i could possible feel. i knew that i was an elder of the lord, that i was on the right plane, and that i had tons of loved ones at home pullnig for me. i was still a little on edge though, as all alone i was thrown into an airport with people yelling at me in a language i didnt understand. i finally found a little lady with a sign, and since i was alone, she put me in this wierd car with chinese symbols all around. someday ill have to tell you the full story, but he was a 17 year old kid who just kept smiling and wouldnt answer me, and i 100 percent thought he was taking me somehwere to rob me. no lie. ive never been more afraid in my life. long story short i made it. i went through one of the biggest culuture shocks of my life, i wish i had time to tell you about sao paulo, ive already seen much of the city, but it is something else. i never knew people lived like this. anyways, back to the ctm. i wish i had more time, im summarizing everything so much as my clock is winding down. my companions are....interesting. they both played in the marching band. enough said. i NEED scott here. pray for visas everyday. i can~t tell you how much it would help. anyways, my first few days i literally did not smile and felt horribly ill everytime i wasnt in a class having information shoved down my throat. i still cry every time i see moms quote, and read dads letter. (yeah, i cry a lot, get over it) and by about sunday guys i have to be honest i did NOT know that i could do it. i fully thought that this was not for me, and that coming home might just be for the best. but a couple things happened. a. that sunday we had all of our interviews, and i was given a calling. this was kind of the icing on the cake, i was already stressed out of my head and the last thing i needed was more responsibility. i expressed some concerns about signs of depression. he asked well is it a girlfriend? I MISS MY MOTHER/FATHER/FAMILY SO MUCH I WANT TO SCREAM. after a while of talking he basically responded with nonsense, your way too tough too have any of that crap, will you accept a calling as district leader? too say i was overwhelmed was an understatement. of course i accepted but i went home and basically fell apart. i wrote letters like i was dying i acted all dramatic, but then i read both my blessings that i treasure so much and i noticed two things. 1. dad told me about gordon b hinckley. how freaking selfish am i?? i was born in the usa. my family has money. im white, good looking, and girls love me. i was blessed with SO much, this is the lords time, forget yourself and GET to work. dad, lots of your words ring in my head quite frequently. going home is NOT an option. your blessing was inspired. 2. arent patriarchal blessings funny? callings of responsiblility will fall on your head? the lord knows whats up. lets see if i can get a couple logistics in befoere my time is up. i went to the temple today. still wierd. but nice to have a break from class. i enjoyed it. im starting to get that bro commrodery with some of the elders. brazilians are CRAZY! they are seriously insane, so loud, so funny, but so nice and willing to help. they are awesome. i wish i could send you pics of me and my roomate. he was in the braz. army and is so funny, he loves rhcp. i told him yesterday if he spoke english we would be best friends. usuaslly my p day is on tuesday, so expect from me then. but yesterday was brazilian independence day. thats SO awesome about byu! i miss so much eating pizza and yelling at the tv with you guys. portuguese is coming along. sort of. its the language of hell. spanish is a curse. lots of words sound similiar but EVERYTHING is prounounced differently. i realized over the last week how much spanish i know. i talked with a mexican for like a full 10 minutes but im still cluesess with tese freaking brazilians. food- holy hell. (sorry still a young missionary) chels youd literally starve here and im not exaggerating. im losing weight, fast, cant wait to cook my own food lets put it that way. two nights ago i got really sad thinking about wyatt. i dont want him to change. i love him. out of time. lastly, write LOTS of letters. idont have time to type, and i cant tell you how much they help. dad and britten can testify of that. tell EVERYONE to write me. ill write back. i LOVE YOU all. SOOOOO much. you will NEVER understand how much family means to me at this point in my life. love life. take pictures. -elder allred